Independent Women? Yes? No? Maybe? cont’dSo where does this leave us?
It leaves us where many women have been for ages - learning the difference between a boy and a man - the bad and the good - a loser and a winner.
For the longest, men have perfected the art of seducing women into doing what they want them to do. We’re no longer in the stone ages where you could just hit a woman on the head and drag her back into the cave. Times have changed and so has the game - women have changed and so have the men - the men have changed and so have the women. It’s a vicious cycle.
With the dawn of women doing more for themselves they are subsequently wanting more for themselves. It benefits a man to play the role of loving a woman in return for what he wants most, sex. The story line takes more twists and turns, but you can go back to last week for an explanation, referring to how many women change. Basically, we end up with women now making themselves out to LOOK as though they are what a man needs (education, stable, etc.) but in actuality they are shells of their former selves filled with bitterness.
My best advice to men out there is what I tell my girlfriends, there needs to be proof in the pudding. Show me the money. When we women wise up and realize that actions speak louder than words, actions are what we start to pay attention to. Is he really a man of his word in ALL areas of his life? Does he call when he says he’s going to call? Does he pay his bills on time? Does he have good credit? Is he a man of God and act accordingly?
So men, when you come across a young lady and you see that she has her hair done, nails done, and everything did, start paying close attention as you date her. Are her lights on? Is her gas tank always on E? Is she humble or messy? Does she go to church? Does she also WALK in the Word? How does she dress? What are her values? That is when you can tell if a woman is “Independent” or what I like to call “Self-Sufficient”
On the surface an independent and self-sufficient woman may look similar, but once you do enough digging, the self-sufficient woman is a lot like the Proverbs 31 woman.
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She takes care of herself. She dresses well. She makes and uses money properly. She hangs out with her friends but keeps her priorities. She respect herself AND her others. And most of all, she has healed from her past and learned from it at the same time. This means that she has built a prosperous world around herself that she can easily maintain once the RIGHT man comes along. Her world is there to protect her from the wrong men only. So she doesn’t NEED a man, she WANTS a man to support and to be supported by.
An independent woman is usually the woman who has let her emotional scars take control of her and she has shutdown. Many times she will build her world up financially so that there would be no ‘need’ for a man ever. Or maybe even have children, or use the ones she’s already got, for child support purposes. Hence the “I don’t need a man unless he’s paying my bills” mentality. The tell tale signs are usually under the surface as well as a host of insecurities. The big attitude is usually a front.
So men, the surface should not be the end all - be all. The surface should be a fraction of the beginning. Many females/ independent women can look and seem like she has everything going, but she cannot maintain the facade. Only the self-sufficient/ Proverbs 31 women can captivate and sustain you for life.
Come follow me on Twitter @fabulusmsdallas... Toodles!!!!
Written by: Dallas Jackson
Author of: Until You Love You, No One Else Will - - coming in September 2012
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